Finding Love
by Yume-no-Ryuusei
Summary: Finding love is never easy, especially when your name is Seiya Kou and you happen to be a royal guard to the Princess of Kinmoku...and a Sailor Starlight! Not AU, SxT,SxY
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Based loosely on the rp site I'm apart of, dedicated to my Ten-chan (she knows who she is! ;) )

Chapter One: The Beginning

Yaten opened her eyes slowly, her hand instinctively coming to her forehead to block the sunlight creeping in through the window. She woke up on her own? Why hadn't Taiki or Seiya woken her up? Yaten swung her legs onto the floor and sat upright in bed. After rubbing the sleep out of her eyes she stood up and transformed.

Healer walked down the hall, stopping by both Fighter's and Maker's rooms, only to find them both empty. With a sigh she walked down to the kitchens, eating a small breakfast before heading outside.

"Might as well enjoy the nice day." she mumbled as she opened the large door.

A blur of blue-black pushed past suddenly, knocking her to the side.

"Oi! Fighter!" Healer yelled in outrage. Her leader didn't stop, or say a sarcastic retort, and Healer suddenly became worried.

Healer walked down the castle steps and soon spotted Maker. Her expression was one of shock, her mouth partially open, as if she wanted to say something, but couldn't find the words. Not that it mattered, Fighter was long gone.

"What happened?" Healer demanded.

"I...I don't know." Maker stammered, suddenly recovering from her stupor.

Healer growled, "How can you not know? She seemed pretty upset!"

Maker slowly regained her composure, and began thinking things through.

"I suppose I've upset her somehow."

"Well duh! Tell me everything that happened since you woke up." Healer ordered.

"Well, Fighter came to my room and woke me up.." maker trailed, recalling the details. Healer nodded for her to continue.

"She said she wanted to talk, so we came out here." another nod from Healer.

"She...she said she loved me!"

Healer gasped, "Nani!"

"Hai..." Maker said quietly, looking down.

"What'd you tell her?" Healer asked anxiously.

"I said, 'what about the Tsuki no hime?'"

Healer's gaze hardened, "Are you dense? Why would you say that! She's finally accepted that it'll never happen!"

"Exactly. When she claims she loves someone, she's over it the next season. How could I take her seriously?"

_Slap_

"How could you not! Fighter doesn't fall in love to play games, she falls in love because she can't control it!" Healer seethed. Maker glared in response.

"Did you forget? She loved Kakyuu once, too."

"She knew it wouldn't work! That's why she let her go!" Healer defended. Somewhere, in the back of her mind, she wondered why she was so defensive of her leader's feelings, when in the past she had reprimanded her for them. She blew it off as being more accepting of feelings after their experience on Earth. That and her abhorrence for Maker's cold indifference.

"What about the moon princess? It's been 3 months, Healer. She couldn't forget her so easily." Maker said, her solemn voice had a bite to it.

"She hasn't forgotten, she's accepted the situation! She's trying to move on. Healer paused, "Shouldn't you be happy?"

"First of all, I refuse to be her rebound. Second of all, contrary to popular belief, I'm not going to cry happily in joy when someone is in love with me. It is bothersome that she has chosen me to be the object of her desperate affections. I have a duty, which I refuse to be distracted from.

Healer 'hmph'd' and began to walk back towards the castle. If she stayed any longer, she was afraid she might actually become violent with Maker.

"Someone as cold as you doesn't deserve her, her love, or her tears." Healer snipped.

Maker watched Healer go, her expression harsh and judgmental. They'd both become too soft on Earth. At the same time, Star Maker was aware of a dull ache in her heart, as Healer's words played through her head.

_Maybe I do not deserve to be loved..._

"Fighter?" Healer asked gently, knocking on the door. Not that she needed to, she felt the sadness radiating from the room and knew Fighter had to be in there.

She gingerly opened the door, immediately spotting Fighter on the bed. She entered, closing the door and locking it behind her, knowing full well her leader wanted some privacy.

Healer felt her heart wrench at the sigh of her sobbing friend. She sat upon the bed, gently stroking her hair.

"Go 'way!" Fighter demanded angrily between sobs.

"It's just me...Healer.."

Fighter gave up trying to get her comrade out of her room and allowed herself to be pulled into an embrace.

"Shh...it's okay. I know what happened." Healer assured when Fighter tried to speak. It was a bit foreign to her to see her leader crying so. Fighter was always seen as a strong leader, an unbreakable soldier. But Healer knew better.

Fighter never let anyone see her like this, except Healer. In fact, Healer was certain she was the only one who could truly understand her leader...she was the one who always comforted her.

She had been there when Seiya returned that night...

-Flashback-

"Seiya! You're soaking wet! You'll catch a cold!" Yaten scolded, yanking the currently male starlight inside. Seiya did not speak, did not move. Just stood there. Yaten sighed, having a fair idea of what had happened. Seiya had gone to the school to get his things, and in a sense, say goodbye. The time was soon coming. The battle was approaching.

Despite how much Yaten hated to admit it, Seiya had become attached to this planet. Yaten removed Seiya's coat, completely drenched and useless, tossing it carelessly to a hamper. He ushered his comrade to the bathroom, shoving a towel and some clean dry clothes at him.

"Dry off and change. Now." Yaten demanded.

A few minutes later the door opened, and Seiya had done as we was told. But he was silent.

"What's his problem?" Taiki asked, popping his head out of his room.

Yaten glared daggers at his clueless friend, causing the tall light to return to his room without another comment. Yaten gently grabbed Seiya's arm, gently pulling him to the living room. Seiya sat on the couch heavily, his indigo eyes unfocused.

"Now...what happened..?" Yaten asked gently.

It was like a damn had broke. Tear streamed down Seiya's face.

"I...I saw her...Odango..." Yaten embraced his comrade tightly.

"What happened with Usagi?"

"She was being attacked..I protected her...she was acting strange..she kept losing her focus..After we chased off the anima-mate...she confessed...she said...'I want to see you! Mamo-chan...'"

Yaten felt the shuddering sob that wracked his comrade's body. Such pain, agony...

"I didn't understand...why...does she need him? I'm there...I'll protect her...I asked..if I was good enough..."

Searing pain flowed into Yaten's heart as his comrade re-lived probably the most painful moment of his life.

"It'll be okay, you'll see.." Yaten said quietly, trying to cheer his friend up, although tears were falling down his face too.

_She's stupid not to see how wonderful you are, Seiya..._

-End Flashback-

Yet once again someone refused to see how loving her leader really was. This time it was Maker. Rage and disbelief flowed into Healers veins. She wanted to beat her comrade to a pulp for hurting Fighter so much.

Healer sat there for who knows how long, trying to comfort her broken leader. How many times had she done this? Too many to count. Of course, Fighter was always for her..but Healer couldn't help but wonder why no one realized what a sweet person Fighter really was under that cocky attitude.

By the time Fighter fell asleep, Healer's fuku top was soaked with her tears. Not that she cared, she merely set Fighters head gently down on the pillow and stood up.

"Sweet dreams, Fighter.."

Flicking off the light, she left the room.


	2. Kinmokusei Ball

A/N: Shout out to Sailor Jessica, my inspiration for this story. ^_^

Chapter Two: Kinmoku-sei Ball

"Fighter, where are you going?" Maker demanded.

Fighter turned around, winking. "On a date."

"With who?" Maker asked coldly.

"Aya." Fighter said nonchalantly, leaving the castle.

"Maker." Healer hissed.

"What is it, Healer?" Maker asked, her foul mood showing through her neutral face.

"Don't screw this up for her. It's not her fault you were gone for months."

"I've told you both before, I was busy!" Maker defended hotly.

"...you didn't even tell her you were leaving!" Healer argued.

"I didn't think I needed to."

"Damnit, Maker! I don't get you! You finally decide you love her, then you freakin' abandon her!"

"There were things I needed to take care of.." Maker said quietly, turning to leave.

"Whatever. Don't ruin her happiness this time." Healer threatened.

Fighter entered the ballroom, a shy smile on her lips. Today's event was in celebration of the restoration of Kinmoku. Immediately she spotted Aya, her date. She picked up her black dress slightly and hurried down to meet her, a smile on her face.

"I'm glad you could come." Fighter said, bowing slightly.

"Of course I did, Sei-chan!" Aya said cheerily. "I'm anywhere there's food!"

Fighter smiled, shaking her head in amusement. A lively song came on then, and Fighter and Aya made their way to the dance floor.

"Maker!" Healer yelled, "You're missing the ball! Ouhi's making her appearance soon!"

Healer pounded her fist on the door, only to have it open.

"Maker?" She asked but the room was empty. Healer sighed and walked back to the ballroom. Ouhi was not going to like this.

"Did you find her?" Kakyuu asked.

"Iie, I do not believe she's in the castle."

"I wonder where she went.." Kakyuu said thoughtfully.

"Shall we report her as missing?" Healer asked.

"We cannot. This is the second time she's disappeared. To do so would mean the death sentence when she returns for abandoning a sworn duty."

"Oh..." Healer sighed deeply as her mood darkened.

What was up with Maker lately?

Healer decided to return to the ballroom, where her date Minako was waiting. Despite being engaged in the dancing her mind kept wandering to Fighter. How was she handling this? Yes she was attempting to move on from Maker..demo...

"Yaten!" Minako hissed.

"Hm?"

"You stopped dancing.."

"Ah gomen...I was worried about Maker.."

_Liar._

It was beyond Healer why she bothered to lie to Minako about who she was thinking about. Why couldn't she admit she was worried about Seiya? Was it really so difficult?

Soon the music stopped and Fighter walked to the top of the stairs. It was time. Kakyuu strode off confidently, smiling. She looped her arm with Fighters and began her short speech.

"I greatly thank you all for attending. It has been a long year rebuilding our planet, but we have come leaps and bounds. We would not have gotten so far without each and everyone of you."

With a royal bow, Kakyuu proceeded down the steps, Fighter at her side. When Fighter got to the bottom she stepped aside, directing the attention to Kakyuu as she walked out onto the middle of the dance floor, immediately placing her hand within the royal prince's as they began to dance.

Healer noticed that Fighter and Aya went out on to the balcony, away from everyone. She wanted to follow and eavesdrop, get a feel for what was going on...

But one very rambunctious blonde was stopping her. With a sigh, she let herself be lead around. She made a mental note to check up Fighter later tonight.

Taiki lay down on the bed with a sigh. She figured right about now, Seiya would be dancing happily with Aya at her side.

Oh how she wished she could be with Seiya..well, Fighter. She had been absent when planning for the ball began, when Seiya was looking for a date. Of course she'd naturally pick her current girlfriend..though Taiki secretly wished Seiya would have picked her, had she been around. She shouldn't have left...but deep down, she felt like she had to.

She just had to sort everything out. She had admitted to Seiya that she felt similarly..and it shocked her to her very core. She had to think, she needed time away. Was a relationship what she really wanted? What she really _needed?_

In the end she had came back deciding to give Fighter a try. Only to find her going out with Aya. Sure, she'd been gone over a month..but was she so insignificant to be forgotten so easily?

She snorted. It was just like Fighter to say she was in love, only to find someone new the next month. Taiki knew deep down this is what would happen...though she had prayed it wouldn't. Taiki picked up her book, attempting to read. It was no use. Everytime her eyes tried to focus on the words, they would begin to water. She set the book down.

_Should've brought my glasses._

She considered returning to the castle, but decided against it. She'd return tomorrow when things quieted down. She was avoiding Fighter...and Aya. It'd break her heart if she saw them together, she knew it..

Moisture slid down her face, and she quickly wiped the offending substance away.

_This is your effect, Fighter. You can break down even the highest of walls, and thaw the coldest of hearts..._

"Alu-chan.." Fighter said softly, smiling slightly.

"Hai?" the girl with teal hair asked cheerily. Fighter produced a small box from her subspace pocket, offering it to her. Aya opened it excitedly, to find a golden charm bracelet with stars on it.

"Ooooh pretty.." she cooed, examining it carefully.

Fighter smiled. "To keep you company while I'm out on missions." she said with a small wink.

"Thanks Fighter!"

Fighter smiled as Aya's head came to rest on her shoulder, and she transformed into her male form. He tilted Aya's chin up slightly, kissing her delicately.

"Suki desu.." Seiya said softly, earning a blush and smile from the shorter girl.

All too soon the ball came to a close, and Seiya found himself saying his goodbyes to Aya, who also transformed and disappeared into an old fashioned telephone booth. Immediately he transformed back, and proceeded to help clean up.

"Hey." Healer said quietly from behind her.

"Oh. Hey Healer. What's up?" Fighter asked, setting the chair she was moving down.

"Nothing much. How was your evening."

"Fine." Fighter said with a slight smile, putting the chair away.

"You and Minako?"

Healer grinned. "It's never a dull moment with her around!"

"Ne, did you see Maker at all?" Fighter asked suddenly.

"Iie..." Healer said quietly, looking at Fighter's face, gauging her reaction.

"I..I guess she didn't want to be near me.."

"Fighter.." Healer said gently, placing a hand on Fighter's shoulder. "She left again.."

Fighter stared in shock, slowly falling to her knees.

"She..she...she.." Fighter stuttered, tears rolling down her face. "Didn't..she...didn't say bye.." Fighter mumbled frantically, focusing on nothing in particular as pain washed over her heart. Healer sat on her knees in front of Fighter, hugging her tightly.

"It'll be okay. Shh..."

Healer felt tears slip down her own face. It was wishful thinking that Fighter had gotten over Maker so easily.

"I miss her...I miss her so much!" Fighter sobbed, "She's around, I know she is, but she avoids me, she won't even talk to me! I left a note in her room, but she never wrote back..I wonder if she saw it.."

Healer just rubbed Fighter's back gently, listening to her shuddering sobs. It was unfair. Fighter always gave people all of her heart, but never received much in return. Healer knew if Fighter were to love her, she'd love her with everything she had...

If Fighter were to love her...hah! Wishful thinking...Fighter liked Usagi because she was cute, and sweet, and kind...Maker was intelligent and resourceful...Aya was cheerful..and herself? Prissy, sniveling, rude...

No, Fighter would never love her. But she could be there for her..

Healer tightened her grip around Fighter, as her leader's head rested on her shoulder gently. Such sadness...someone who gave everyone so much shouldn't be so sad.

Healer was both infuriated and depressed by the situation.

"If only she realized how wonderful you are, Seiya..." Healer whispered softly. Fighter's sobs eventually slowed, and she swallowed hard to clear her throat.

"Gomen..I've been such a baby. Sorry for causing so much trouble." Fighter said, standing. After a few long moments her face was neutral, cold even. This was the Fighter most saw- strong and commanding, a brave leader.

If only they knew the pain she really felt. Healer stood as well, watching her comrade leave, her long black dress dragging slightly behind her. Her indigo hair fell down her back in soft waves.

_You look so beautiful tonight, Seiya. If only she had seen you..._

Healer sighed, returning to her room. Seeing as the inners were on Kinmoku, she promised to show Minako around the palace and town first thing in the morning. Which meant she had to get to bed now.

As Healer drifted off to sleep, she swore she could still smell the masculine cologne that her leader wore.

Or at least...she wished she could...


	3. The Breakup

A/N: I know it's been a while since I updated this! So very, very sorry!

To those who haven't figured it out, Aya is Aya Reiko/Sailor Aluminum Siren, back from the dead. Once galaxia was defeated she revived, and was a good little anima-mate.

Chapter Three: The Breakup

Seiya sat under the osmanthus tree that was in full bloom. Aya, her current girlfriend would be here any minute. A content smile played across her lips as she closed her eyes, listening to the sounds of the peaceful planet. Everything was as it should be..

And yet...

She had not seen, or heard from Maker in who knows how long. It felt as if she was missing something horribly important..

But should she even care? Months had passed. She should be over her by now. Shouldn't she? She was beginning to wonder if she enjoyed being miserable. But that really sounded more like Maker's cup of tea.

"Seiiii-chaaan!" a cheery voice called.

Seiya jumped up and waved cheerfully, her indigo eyes and hair glimmering in the sun. Aya quickly made her way to her.

"Huh? Sei-chan why are you dressed like that?" Aya asked, tilting her head to a side.

"Eh?" Seiya looked down, examining her jeans and military jacket, seeing nothing unusual about her choice of clothes.

Aya cleared her throat, "I meant..you're not usually a girl around me."

"Didn't know it bothered you." Seiya said a bit flatly, changing to her male form. Aya grinned happily, looping her arm in his, skipping off.

_In the end, being myself is never good enough.._

Yaten was _bored._ Oh so bored. Seiya was on a date with Aya, as was expected on a friday night. Taiki had locked herself in her room with a book, and the inners were busy on Earth. Yaten would give anything for Seiya to be home...

Yet she couldn't help feeling happy for her leader, who had finally found happiness. Aya was everything Seiya loved in Usagi, without the heartache. She was cheerfull, a little bit silly, loved food and was always holds an optimistic view of the world.

Yaten sighed. The opposite of herself. Though she couldn't help being drawn to Minako, with her over the top charm and smiles, and hair better than her own. Yes, Yaten was willing to admit that. But she couldn't help wondering..

If Minako had met Star Healer, and not Yaten Kou, the member of three lights, would she have ever been interested?

Yaten would like to think that the self-proclaimed goddess of love and beauty would see past such things as gender, and even home planet..demo..there was always that slim, shadow of doubt.

And the fact that alhtough they'd been together for a while, Yaten knew Minako didn't know her.

Yes, Minako knew her favorite food. And color. And that she hated being touched. And had a clue that Yaten put up a tough facade to prevent herself from being harmed. But Minako didn't know how to comfort her- hell, she hardly knew if she was sad or upset.

Minako didn't know that Yaten loved going shopping, or tasting expensive chocalates. Or enjoying in rather whimsical things that Yaten hardly did anymore, less she looked less of a 'man' in Minako's eyes.

But Seiya, Taiki and Kakyuu knew. But mostly Seiya.

-Flashback-

"Ne, pipsqueak, what are you doing today?" Seiya asked over a cup of hot tea.

"Nothing that you care to know." Yaten snapped. Seiya ignored her rude retort.

"Oh. I was wondering if you wanted to go into town. This week is the chocolate festival, you know."

How could she not know? She had been counting off the days for two months! Not that she thought she'd really go. She didn't wanna go alone..and everyone was so busy...it was exam week on Earth, so there was no way Minako would come visit.

Yaten's green eyes shimmered with hope.

"Honto?"

Seiya smiled. "Of course. Get dressed and we'll go."

-End Flashback-

It'd been a wonderful, tasty time. Seiya swore after eating so many confectionaries, she'd never touch a sweet again.

Suddenly, the door opened. Yatened turned and saw Tiaki standing in the doorway.

"Taiki.."

"I received a message from Mizuno-san. The inners are hanging out at the shrine right now. We are invited. Would you like to come with me?"

"Hai! I'm sooo bored!" Yaten said, taking her time stretching.

Before long, they were standing in Rei's living room, sharing laughs. Minako sat on the couch next to Yaten, talking about some date she was planning for them, not that he was paying that much attention.

A light giggle was heard from the doorway, and all heads turned to where Seiya and Aya had just walked in, unannounced.

"Mina-chan! I made it!" Aya said happily, running across the room to glomp Minako, who happily returned the embrace.

"Now that everyone's here..we should go for a girl's night out or something!" Rei said with enthusiasm. Ami blushed.

"D-do I..have to dance?"

The majority of them rolled their eyes and laughed at Ami's shyness. Taiki as well, wasn't too keen on the idea.

Just then, Seiya sneaked up behind Yaten, slipping his hair ribbon off effortlessly, dangling it over his head.

"Oi!" Yaten cried, batting at the ribbon like a cat with string, before standing up angrily, trying to snatch it back from Seiya, who pranced around the room.

"Gotta catch me, midget!" Seiya chanted.

Yaten growled, going straight across the room, knocking furniture over, stepping on feet, not caring who was in his way.

Seiya, seeing his life flashing before his eyes as the small light approached, spontaneously tossed it to Taiki, who stared at it blankly before smirking, holding it high over his chestnut head. Yaten stood in front of Taiki, pouting.

"That's not fair.." Yaten whined, obviously at a height disadvantage. Taiki giggled akwardly, handing it to Yaten who hastily tied his hair back up, striding back to his place on the couch in dignity.

"Gods, Seiya's so annoying." Yaten said with a huff.

"I think all the Kou's are annoying.." Aya said.

Seiya's eyebrow went up slowly as his stance changed. Yaten and Taiki noticed this and held their breath. Seiya's feet slowly slid a shoulder widths apart as his arms folded, gaze hardening as he looked at his girlfriend intensely.

"Is that so?" he challenged.

Taiki and Yaten both wondered what had gotten him so worked up all of a sudden.

"Yup!" Aya said lightheartedly, plunking down in a chair, digging into some snacks.

Yaten could feel it, that seething anger. Why was Seiya so upset over a small comment.

_Seiya..._

Seiya ignored his comrades mental plea to calm down. This was offense #2 of the day. First, she won't let him be himself around her. Then she has the audacity to insult his comrades. He didn't mind in the slightest if she teased him, but Yaten and Taiki? Especially Taiki...

He was loyal and defensive of his friends, and that would never change. It didn't matter who it was who made a comment about them, it would always be met by a stone-cold glare from Seiya.

"Ooookay..." Minako said, trying to change the subject to the new store that opened up at the mall. Slowly, Seiya willed himself to relax.

Seiya walked outside silently, needing the breath of fresh air the cool night would provide. A few minutes passed and light footsteps were heard behind him.

"Aya." He acknowledged.

"Hey Sei-chan, whatcha doing out here?"

Seiya shrugged. "Breathing."

Aya cocked her head slightly, not understanding his meaning.

"You can do it in there, you know."

"It isn't as refreshing. I like sitting out here like this, alone."

"Why alone?" Aya asked, a small frown on her face as she sat next to him, her long teal hair brushing his knuckles as she leaned in closer.

Seiya looked thoughtful, deciding on the right set of words.

"Because..it is when I remember all those who could not come back. They deserve a moment every now and then, dont they? All those stars that were forever snuffed out..." Seiya said ruefully, glancing up at the stars.

"Sei-chan, you sound depressed."

Seiya sighed. "Maybe I am.."

"You shouldn't be! Everythings all happy now! We should go in and have snacks and fun with everyone!"

"Maybe in a little bit. You can go in if you like."

Aya looked thoughtful, hesitating a moment. She looked at his sad, odd expression, still not understanding fully. There were times, when he'd get this sad, sad look on his face. Was he still pining after Maker? He claimed not to. He claimed to be beyond it. So why then...

"You can tell me anything, you know.." she said softly as she stood up, going back inside.

"I would..but you wouldn't listen.." Seiya said to himself. He would've told her, had she waited a moment longer. He wasn't like Taiki, who always found the right words. It took him a little while.

In truth, he was afraid everything would come crashing down again. Galaxia's attack had proved they weren't invinicble- Sailor Senshi could be killed, and even, turned over to the other side. That sense of security, that he'd always be able to protect his princess had been crushed. He was unable to protect her last time...

What if this time..she was killed, and couldn't be returned?

He shivered at this thought. It was the same thought the other two held, as well. They understood- they were all going through the same thing right now.

He wished he could share these things with Aya, she understood lots of things about him, he knew.

Except..the Fighter in him. A pulse in his chest let him know his senshi spirit was still there, despite lying dormant.

That will to fight for all you've got, to stand up for what you believe in, to protect those you care about...it was what Aya completely failed to understand, instead choosing to ignore. The sense of duty that often pulled him away from her, creating a noticable distance now.

It was all a matter of time before his world came crashing down. Again.

He returned inside, with a heavy heart.

Seiya remained dead silent amidst the inner senshi's chatter. His indigo eyes focused on the wall behind Rei's head, where the window displayed the stars, that would soon fade to morning.

"Seii-chaan! Stop being such a mary moody!" Aya said with a pout. Seiya chose to ignore her at this moment.

"I mean it, Seiya." She said, much more seriously this time. Seiya turned to face her, his expression sullen.

"I'm just not in the mood to be social right now."

"What with you?"

"I wish I kenw myself, actually." he said, standing.

"I'm going back to Kinmoku. Good night, everyone." he said, before he changed into Fighter, and took off as a shooting star.

"We shall be leaving as well. Oyasumi." Yaten said as he and Taiki left, following after their leader. They understood how he was feeling.

"Sheesh. What's their problem.." Aya said, munching on a pretzel.

"Wish I knew." Minako said sadly. It felt as if she were losing Yaten lately.

"Fighter..." Maker said quietly, approaching her leader.

Fighter slowly sank to her knees.

"What's wrong?" Healer asked gently, sitting next to her leader.

"It's like, I can't tell her who I am. Who I really am."

"Why not? She's known you for a while now. She knows who you are." Healer encouraged.

"She doesn't know Fighter." Fighter said sadly, her indigo eyes full of emotion..

"Give her a chance to. You've hardly been Fighter around her, ne? I'm sure once she gets used to the idea of you being two people, she'll warm up to your Fighter side and love you as much as we do." Healer encouraged, kissing her leader's cheek in encouragement.

"Hai, I hope your right.." Fighter trailed.

-Some time later-

"Ne, Seiya, did I tell you I'm going away?" Yaten asked.

"Ehh?" Seiya looked up from the speghetti o's she was slurping.

"Yeah, I'm taking Usagi to tour Kinmoku. I'll be gone for a good month and a half."

Seiya whistled slowly. "That's a loong time, Yaten."

"Well, since Earth and Kinmoku have formalized an alliance, I thought it'd be good for one of the rulers of Earth to understand Kinmoku. And Since bringing the prince here would assure you blowing his head off..." Yaten trailed, smirking as Seiya giggled, already imagining that scene with dark glee.

"Well, have fun, stay safe, and take care of her!" Seiya said enthusiastically, glomping the shorter starlight. "I'll miss ya, you prickly bugger!"

"Argh! Don't touch me!" Yaten whined, shoving the taller light off of her.

"Yep, definitely prickly." Seiya said with a giggle.

Three days later, Seiya was saying goodbye to Yaten at the airport, where Usagi and Yaten would board the plane for the other side of Kinmoku, where a majority of the population lived. Where the starlights resided, in the castle, was a reserved section of the planet difficult to get to.

"Here, take this." Seiya said, removing her hair ribbon, handing it to Yaten. "That way I'll be with you the whole time."

Yaten nodded appreciatively, taking the ribbon and tying it into her hair.

"Arrigatou. I have something for you too." Yaten said, producing a yellow rose from her subspace pocket, handing it to Seiya, who grinned widely.

"Thanks. Have fun!" She said cheerily, waving as their boarding number was called.

After Yaten boarded, Seiya brought the rose up, inhaling it's scent deeply. Yellow meant freindship. Somehow, it was slightly disappointing to Seiya that it was a friendship one. But did it really matter? No. Why should Seiya want a red or pink rose from Yaten?

The smell reminded her of Yaten, light and perfumey, feminine yet distinct- no other flower smelled quite the same.

Seiya was leaning back in a recliner, when Taiki suddenly opened the door. Seiya immediately stood up.

"Taiki!"

"Hello, Seiya." Tiaki said with a rare smile. It had been many weeks since Seiya last heard from her. Taiki's mysterious disappearences were practically normality, now.

The two sat on the couch, catching up. Seiya was relieved that Taiki was willing to speak with her now.

"How are you and Siren doing?"

Seiya raised an eyebrow. No one called Aya siren anymore..

"We're good. We have our little fights now and then, but nothing abnormal."

"I don't like her."

Seiya chuckled lightly. "Of course. Let me guess, she's too silly for you?"

"No."

Seiya leaned forward, folding her hands.

"Then what is it?"

"She has you." It felt as though the world had stopped.

Seiya stared in shock, her heart rate increasing rapidly.

"Jealous much?" she teased, helping her cocky manner would hide how nervous she was right now...

"I am."

A long moment of silence followed, neither sure how to follow up on that.

"Seiya, I need you to do something for me."

"Sure, I'll do anything for you."

"I need you to hurt someone."

Seiya's eyebrows furrowed. "What? Why?"

"I need you to hurt Aya."

Seiya gasped slightly, moving backwards slowly, shaking her head.

"I can't...I..I won't!" Had Taiki lost her mind?

Taiki stood up slowly.

"Seiya..please.. I want to be with you.. I can't stand this loneliness any longer..I thought you loved me. Next time I leave...I don't think..I will ever return..I can't stand being separated from you by a wall, that relationship you have with her."

Seiya swallowed hard. "I do love you, Taiki..."

"Then break up with her for me!"

Seiya shook her head.

"I just don't think I love you that much, not anymore..."

"So she's taken my place then.." Taiki said defeatedly, looking down.

Seiya nodded slowly. "She doesn't understand me the way you do..demo, she's got this own light to her. It's difficult for me to explain."

"How can you love someone who doesn't know you?"

Seiya bit her lip. She had no answer to that.

"Seiya...if you were permanently Fighter...would she treat you the same, as I would?"

Seiya froze. She wanted to say yes, but she didn't have the answer to that one.

"I'll think about it." Seiya said quietly, going off to find Aya. She needed some answers. She wondered which was more intolerable, ending her relationship, or saying goodbye to Maker forever. Both were painful. But wouldn't it be the wrong choice, as a leader, to let her comrade leave them? They'd be down a soldier to protect the princess.

And yet, it felt wrong.

Her heart ached. Taiki was throwing herself at her, but she was taken. Why? Wasn't Aya something that just sort of happened, out of her cocky, flirty attitude and her loneliness?

But she always could make her smile...even if she happened to be in her male form, which highly annoyed her.

Not that she'd let on. Fighter henshin'd and went in search of Aya, whom she found rather quickly.

"Alu-chan!" She said excitedly, hugging and kissing her.

"Hi Sei-chan." the teal haired girl said, stiffening slightly under the touch, not returning the affections.

"Something wrong?" Fighter asked concerned.

"Why are you henshin'd?"

"Just got here from Kinmoku."

"Okay..why are you henshined?"

Fighter frowned slightly.

"Do you not like me as Fighter?"

"Well...you know, I like guys more than girls."

There it was. Sure, the others (inner senshi) heard that little comment and thought nothing of it. But to Seiya..that was practically everything. She had struggled so hard with her identity, only recently coming to terms with it.

"I ..see.." Fighter said her face falling.

Aya blinked. "Something wrong?"

"Iee, I'm going for a walk."

Numbly, Fighter exited the room. The second she was outside, she took off running. To the place she'd gone to last time her heart fell apart. The school roof. It was like an automatic. She knew no one would be up here. She dropped to her knees as the tears rolled down, sparkling like diamonds under the starlight.

Minutes later, footsteps were behind her.

"Seiya! Why do you always run when somethings wrong?" Aya demanded.

Fighter willed herself to her feet.

"It's Fighter." She ground out, turning to face her, her indigo eyes narrowing.

"Whatever! Is that what your going to do in a relationship? Run everytime it gets hard?"

Fighter's fists clenched and unclenched as she struggled with her hurt and rage.

"Only cowards run away! You guys ran away from Kinmoku, abandoned it, and now you're doing the same here!"

Fighter let out a frustrated growl, gathering her star energy, preparing to make the trip to Kinmoku.

"Don't you run away on me! If you do it's over!" Aya threatened.

Images passed before Fighter's eyes, of happy, cute little moments between them. Of proposing to her and how long she'd spent preparing for it. Was she willing to give it all up so easily?

No, not really. But she also knew she couldn't fall apart, not in front of her.

And so..in a flash of brilliant light, she was gone, a shooting star, heading home..

Fighter panted slightly, collapsing to the ground when she arrived. She hadn't felt pain like this since Maker had rejected her flat out.

"Doshiyo.." she whispered softly.

Yaten, who had been napping, leaped up in bed.

"Nani yo?" Usagi called sleepily from the other side of the bed.

"Somethings wrong with Seiya. I'm going. Healer Star Power, Make up!"

In a few momements, Healer had locked onto her leader's location, appearing behind her sobbing leader. She bent forward, placing an arm around her.

"Shh..I'm here.. what happened..."

Fighter shook her head, crying too hard to answer.

"It'll be alright.." Healer soothed. A flash appeared in front of them. An angry Aya stormed out of an old-fashioned telephone booth.

She stalked up to Fighter, who had finally brought herself to her feet, proudly, the rain disguising her tears.

Without a word, Aya slapped Fighter hard across the cheek, the leader's face turning from the blow, taking a half-step backwards.

Fighter slowly turned back to face her, eyes narrowing. If there was one thing in her book that could end a relationship, it was physical violence of any kind.

"Why do you keep running! You're such a coward! I don't to be with a coward, Seiya!"

Fighter pushed past her, as if she didn't see her, as her voice, low and scathing ground out a response.

"And I refuse to love someone who cannot love all of me..."

Fighter never looked back, not after Aya's pleading, nor Healer's reasoning.

"So that's it! You'll just walk out on us, on everything!" Aya shouted desperately.

Fighter paused, momentarily. But did not look back. She resumed walking. Angrily Aya got into the telephone booth, slamming the door closed, and disappearing.

As soon as she was gone, Fighter broke down crying. Soon, Maker appeared as well.

"Seiya...what happaned?" She asked gently, lifting her leader into her arms, carrying her into the palace. Healer walked at her side, trying to send waves of comfort to the distressed starlight.

"Y-you were right..M-maker.."

"About?" Maker was utterly confused as she entered Seiya's room, setting her down on the edge of the bed, kneeling in front of her. Healer sat in the chair, offering her support without crowding Seiya. She needed Maker more, right now.

"S..she doesn't love me as Fighter..sh..she doesn't understand.. that I need to be alone sometimes..that I can't always fake being happy...that's just not me!"

Maker held Fighter tightly as she let everything out.

"Then..she called me a coward...am I really?" Fighter took a sharp intake of breath in between sobs. "I must be.. I couldn't face her tonight..I couldn't directly tell Usagi my feelings way back when, either."

"That's not true.." Maker said quietly.

"I couldn't even protect our princess!"

Maker shook Fighter's shoulder's gently.

"That doesn't matter. You are strong, you survived so that we could protect Sailor Moon, who ultimately defeated Galaxia so our princess could come back. You didn't tell Usagi your feelings because she was already happy, and it takes a much stronger person to admit defeat with in a relationship than it takes to fake your happiness!" Maker said forcefully.

Fighter blinked, looking into Maker's lavender orbs, remembering all over again why she'd fallen for the solemn starlight to begin with.

Maker smiled, ever so slightly, giving Fighter a light kiss on the lips.

"Get some rest, and get out of those clothes. Things will be better when you wake up tomarrow. I promise."

With that, Maker got up and headed out of the room, Healer soon following.

"She takes a lot, ne?" Healer said quietly.

"Hai.. she does. But no matter what, she makes it through everything. It is what I admire most about her.."

"Me too..." Healer whispered, though she knew Maker did not hear her.


	4. To play with Fire

Chapter Four: To play with fire

The next couple days were bliss. Fighter and Maker were nearly inseparable, sharing soft words, tender kisses and wonderful moments.

Unfortunately, it was not to last...

Fighter walked into the dining hall for breakfast, exhausted from her early morning run.

"Phew, I'm beat. Where's Maker?" She asked, looking around.

"Dunno.." Healer grumbled, poking at her cereal. She didn't feel like eating. Sleep sounded really nice, though...

"Probably stayed up late reading a book, silly thing. I'll go get her."

Fighter stood, heading to the dormitories, where she found Maker's door wide open.

"Maker?" She asked quietly, entering the room.

Her gaze locked onto the room. It had been almost completely cleared out. Fighter felt her knees folding under her as her world swayed and grief overcame her.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Healer dropped her eating utensil when she heard Fighter's pained cry. Willing her legs to move as quickly as possible, she raced to the dormitories, skidding around corners.

She dashed into Maker's room, to find her leader on her knees, sobbing. The room was blank. The majority of the clothes had been removed, as well as many of the personal items.

On the desk remained a picture of the three of them, a pile of letters from Fighter she'd never even read, and her headset and changestar.

Sailor Star Maker had quit.

Healer sat next to Fighter, just as stunned.

How could Maker be so cruel!

How..HOW could she do this to her leader? Who'd lost everything...and trusted her..

Rage boiled within Healer. She wanted to pulverize the cold, aloof light.

"Seiya.." Healer said encouragingly, placing her hand on her leader's shoulder. Fighter tore her gaze from the floor, and indigo locked with emerald.

"...Doshite..?"

Healer had never seen such a broken expression in her life. Not ever. That face would haunt her in her dreams, that much she knew.

"I knew it, ne? I'm just..never good enough..for anyone..."

"Don't talk like that!" Healer scolded, hugging her tightly.

It really made no sense how nothing ever worked out for her leader.

"Demo..not matter how much I give to a person, or how hard I try..."

"Seiya, you need to stop. I don't know what's wrong with Maker, but somethings just not been right about her. People handle stress and loss differently. I..I think..she just can't handle being a senshi. We've been through so much..but it makes us stronger, ne?" Healer paused. "I..I think it broke her."

Fighter's expression changed slightly.

"Why..didn't she tell us?"

Healer gave her leader a weak, one sided smile.

"Because like you, she's too proud to ask for help when she needs it. Please...let me comfort you..."

Fighter nodded slightly, leaning into Healer's embrace. Healer pulled her leader into her arms, waiting for her to relax. She did, and slowly she fell asleep.

It was in sleep when all the walls came crashing down, when Healer was able to _feel_ her leader's turmoil. The love, the hurt, the loss...the self-hate...

_Fighter...you shouldn't hate yourself for Kinmoku's destruction. There was nothing you could do..nothing any of us could do..._

Weeks toiled by, and slowly Fighter's break downs would become less frequent. She was no longer hoping Maker would come back, but accepted there was only two starlights now.

Somedays Fighter would be extra sad, others she'd be a little too happy. Healer knew she was faking, but didnt have the heart to tell her she knew. Sometimes, Healer realized, people needed to have other people believe they were okay, so that they could, too.

But most of the time, Fighter just needed someone to speak to. Something Healer didn't mind doing in the slightest.

In fact, Healer found herself ignoring many of Minako's texts, because she was talking to Seiya, and just holding her. It was a strange feeling really, having someone depend on you. For so long, Seiya, well, Fighter, was the one they all depended on, the shoulder to cry on.

Now it was Yaten's turn to return the favor, which she tried to do in her fullest..and nothing was more rewarding than the rare smile Seiya gave her..

In fact, she will always remember the first smile Seiya gave her after Taiki's disappearence...

"Seiya..it angers and saddens me that she did that.. and that your heart keeps breaking..demo, it'll get better ne? That's what you always tell me.." Yaten said hopefully.

Seiya blinked a few times, hugging the smaller light tightly.

"Arrigatou.." Seiya whispered, before pulling back and smiling.

Despite Seiya cheering up, Yaten felt hopelessly depressed and angry. They had both trusted Maker, thinking this would bring an end to Seiya's sadness. When really, it was the mere beginning of something much, much worse.

Yaten's footsteps froze as something dawned on her. She'd never been so defensive, or compassionate to anyone like that...except Seiya...why?

Why did she feel that Seiya opened herself to her more than anyone else did, or even could?

Why was it she felt she could do the same, when before she'd refused to tell anyone if she was even hungry? Was she...falling in love? Was it even possible? She was with Minako for crying out loud! This was utter bullshit. She wasn't _supposed_ to have feelings for anyone else, especially not her leader!

Yaten sighed deeply. She didn't wish to hurt Minako, not in any way, shape or form.

_I understand how Seiya feels...but I cannot allow myself to fall into that trap. I cannot love her. I have someone. I have Minako. It's Seiya after all...she's my _best_ friend. How weird is that? Ugh! Not to mention there's no way she'd ever feel that way towards me. There's Siren to contend with..and then Maker.. and possibly even Usagi still. There's just no room for me. We're friends. Friends only._

Fighter and Healer were relaxing in the lounge room.

"Can I play with your hair?" Fighter asked suddenly.

Healer blinked. "Eh?"

"I wanna play with your hair! It looks so soft and silky..."

Normally, Healer wouldn't let anyone touch her hair...but then again, she also couldn't deny her leader's puppy eyes.

"Alright...but don't mess it up!" she warned playfully. Fighter rolled her eyes and scooted behind Healer on the couch.

Gingerly, Fighter removed the ribbon that tied back Healer's hair and slowly began running her fingers through it.

Healer sighed deeply, suddenly becoming relaxed by her leader's touch. Her head moved back slowly, resting comfortably on Fighter's chest while her leader massaged her scalp gently.

"Mmm..this is nice..." Healer said, her eyes drifting closed.

Fighter giggled, never stopping her movements on Healer's hair.

"For someone so reluctant to let me play with your hair, you seem to be enjoying this.."

Healer pouted, growling slightly. "Shut it."

Fighter chuckled lightly. Before either of them realized it, Yaten was fast asleep. Fighter bent down, kissing her cheek before standing up and going to her post. She was on the night shift, again. She was the nocturnal one of the starlights, after all.

She had felt so at peace, having Healer in her arms like that. Why did she do that? Was it just her aching loneliness? Fighter rested her arms on the railing of the watch post, her gaze raising to the stars. Everytime she loved..she'd been hurt.

Was she just doomed to never be happy?

Yet, she felt joy when she teased her silver haired comrade, when those fierce green eyes glared up at her. Yaten was vicious at times but that didn't bother Seiya any. In fact, she thought it was cute.

But...there was no way Yaten would like Seiya like that. Yaten had Minako.

Fighter felt guilty for having physical contact with Healer like that. Shouldn't that be something Minako does with her?

Yet, she couldn't help herself. She felt the need to touch her hair, to watch her fall asleep. She had the urge to kiss her, but settled with a peck on the cheek. Surely Healer would slap her if she'd tried anything else!

Healer was plenty happy without her. No need for her to butt in and screw things up like she always did.

Fighter blinked away the tears that were forming as her gaze lowered to the castle grounds below her that she was supposed to be guarding. Not that anyone would attack, anyways.

Healer woke up slowly, feeling completely refreshed. It was a new experience for her, to sleep so peacefully.

It had been enjoyable, Fighter playing with her hair for that. She wanted to experience that more often. Her and Minako never did those sorts of things. Hell, her and Minako hardly did anything..

But it wasn't like F ighter liked her like _that._ They were just friends, right? Fighter would never be able to see her any other way.

Healer sat in the library, reading up on psychological illness. Surely that is what had plagued Maker- and possibly Fighter as well. What had driven Maker to quit? Healer was suddenly aware of a presence behind her, as breath tickled her ear.

"Just because she's gone doesn't mean you have to become a bookworm, you know.." Fighter's teasing voice whispered quietly.

Secretly, Healer shuddered from this close proximity.

"What did you want?" Healer asked, a bit harshly. Fighter giggled quietly, her soft lips connecting with Healer's neck. It was like a shock to the system. Healer tensed, swallowing hard, her eyes slipping closed in pleasure. Everything about this was so very, very wrong. Another tender kiss was felt as Fighter gingerly placed her hands on Healer's shoulders.

"S-seiya.." Healer breathed.

"Hmm?" Fighter teased, laying down several more feathery kisses.

Healer couldn't control what she was feeling. Excitement...desire..nor could she block out what Fighter was feeling. Curiousity..interest.

Fighter was known as a flirt, both on Earth and Kinmoku. She flirted with everyone, though it was usually not serious.

Healer raised one silvery eyebrow. "What do you think you're doing?"

Fighter giggled softly, like music. "Playing." she responded, her hands slipping off Healer's shoulders as she exited the library. Healer felt both said and relieved that her leader had left.

_What the hell was that, anyways?_

Fighter glared at the blank sheet music, as if it were the paper's fault she was having composers block. Like writer's block, but for those who made music. She had invented that phrase herself, actually.

She was just so distracted. Why did she feel that.. compulsionto get close to Healer? She'd probably made her only comrade and friend uncomfortable! Sure, she'd always been attracted to the petite girl but since Maker left...things began to change.

Healer was much more tender and compassionate towards her now, it was confusing. Healer never showed that side to anyone, except Kakyuu and maybe Minako...

Fighter was so entranced in her thoughts that she didn't hear someone approach.

"Writer's block, ne?"

Fighter would've jumped out of her skin if she hadn't immediately recognized the voice as Healer.

"I guess so..."

"Maybe you need some inspiration..." Healer said in a light, teasing kind of voice. The kind of voice Fighter had never heard before. Fighter felt a weight on her shoulder, and glanced over to see Healer peeking at her blank paper. Healer clicked her tongue.

"Mou, not a single note down yet."

Fighter's eyebrow twitched as she felt her cheeks reddening from her comrades close proximity.

"That won't do, will it?" Healer whispered. Fighter felt a gentle tug on her hair as it was freed from it's elastic band. Soon Healer was running her fingers- and a brush, through her hair. Fighter relaxed slightly, eyes closed.

"What's bothering you, leader?" Healer asked quietly after a couple minutes. Fighter took a deep breath. Should she just tell her?

"I'm worried.."

"About?"

"You. I..I hope I didn't upset you..Gomen..."

A pause, before lips pressed against her neck, breath tickling her as the silver haired light giggled.

"Don't worry about it."

Fighter felt a stirring inside her as pin pricks went up and down her spine from her comrades touch. What was Healer doing? She wasn't the type to flirt with people- especially not someone she accused of being stupid and annoying on a daily basis.

"What..are you doing?" Fighter whimpered, her head hanging to a side slightly, unknowingly exposing her slender neck more to Healer's kisses.

"Playing..." Healer whispered.

Fighter's eyes widened in shock.

"Is..that so?" Fighter responded, trying to sound cool and confident.

"Hai..." more kisses soon followed, and Fighter found herself desperately wishing her comrade to leave before Fighter did something she would undoubtedly regret.

Her guardian angel came in the form of Princess Kakyuu.

"Fighter..Healer..please come to the throne room at once." her voice rang in their heads. They exchanged alarmed glances, their mischief immediately forgotten as they tore down the hallways to see what was the matter. Kakyuu almost always avoided sending them messages like that unless something was seriously wrong.


End file.
